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Hello lovelies!

How ya’ll doing? No…that’s not working…what about? I missed you too? No…well, hopefully you’ll forgive my long absence. Things came up and…well…I suck! Let’s face it my writing is more about me than you. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all three of you (I’m kidding there’s like 5 of you that read my blog, that’s not including my mom..no…really…she still doesn’t know how this internet thing works), that read my blog. So, I failed-myself. This challenge was to get me to write again and I didn’t follow through. So now I’m starting over. Yes, we are back to day 1.

That seems fair right? I mean that’s what you would do to your teenager right? Make them start all over, isn’t that where the life lesson is? Not everything in life waits for you to remember it exist, things keep going. I really don’t know, I think I’ve been watching to many episodes of “Parenthood” and “The Fosters” on Netflix.

No. That’s not going to work.

not happeningThe intention was there, but I’ll just continue with day 30.

A lot has happened since I last wrote, we will start with some highlights:

    • I was accepted at USF, I start Grad school in the Fall.  I got an answer two or three weeks after I submitted my application and one Sunday after; thanks to some liquid courage induced by some delicious Sangria, I felt brave enough to say to another human being how scared and worried I was of not being accepted. CHEERS!
    • I’ve officially gotten two new bosses. So far so good, not 100% sure about one, but I’m sure we’ll get there.
    • I met a Stateassemblymember and a Super Bowl Champ all in one day.
    • Someone broke into my car and stole my Johnny Cash and Led Zeppelin Cd’s. Bastards! At least we know they have good taste in music.
    • “Frozen” Yes, that’s actually something that has happened. I love that movie! I know I’m such a freak, but I really do. There’s so much about it that I love. We’ll, get to this one later.
    • My right ankle, which was at one point considered my “good” ankle has been giving me issues. Apparently, I’m overcompensating for the left one. I know, it’s ridiculous!
    • I turned 34!

      12 monkeys

      What? No way, I know I still can’t believe I made it past 30~

Yes folks, this beauty that writes to you, is actually 34! I know, let it all out, let’s all take a moment: “what? how is that possible? What does she do? Botox? Younger men? Does she just live off of wine and chocolate?”

God, I wish I could live off of wine and chocolate. Let’s take a moment and see what type of life that would be….shh! we are taking a moment here…silence…

Preach!

Preach!

Was that as good for you as it was for me?

Anyways, moving on particularly because after my birthday celebration last weekend, I decided to be alcohol free for a while. So I don’t want to think about wine. I originally said for the entire Summer. Did you notice the period there? That was completely intentional, I want you to get the full reaction, a period is a full stop  and that my friends is exactly what my brain did, when I said “entire summer”.  So, I decided a month would suffice. If I survive and nobody gets hurt during this experiment then we’ll go for another month.

Don’t worry folks, I won’t be going to any AA meetings any time soon. I’m just trying to get back on a healthy routine; thus, I’m also going to try to eat less chocolate. God, that hurt! But I will try!

See these last few months have been crazy, I’ve had grants, Summits, and online giving campaigns to work on and I wasn’t eating healthy. Some nights I wouldn’t even eat, while other’s I would be having dinner at midnight. Not good, I know.  Furthermore, if I want to be honest with you (and our relationship is based on honesty right?), wine became my best friend. Not like Meg Ryan in “When a Man Loves a Woman” but a glass hear and there.

As a consequence I’ve gained weight. Typical. I know it sucks, I remember when I was little I always thought I would live off of Mickey D’s and Snickers. Boy was I wrong.

Back to the age thing.

I’ve been 34 for 9 days now. I’m happy to report that I think I have the hang of it, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself day 10 or 15 could bring a curve ball and throw me off my game. So, for now I’m good.

Not much different than 33, but I have a weird feeling 35 is better. I mean 33 was the age of Christ, 35 well you’re half way through the third decade of your life. You are five years away from being 40. Shit, I’m 6 years…okay, we won’t panic. It’s 6, not 2 or 1. I apologize for those of you that are reading this and are at that age, I’m sure you’re kicking ass at it. But see, back to me, I’m not sure if I will!

Not panicking.

scaredNo wine, huh? Okay…not panicking. I’m a lady, I can’t handle my own.

You know what? I’ll just panic when I’m closer to 40. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, or when I’m 39. So far I’ve been kicking ass, so why would that time of my life be any different? We’ll just have to wait and see.

Anyway, back to why 34 sucks, fine, it doesn’t really suck. But I see it as a filler year. Fill it up with whatever you want. So far: wine, chocolate, and sex are off the table, so that’s not an option. All by choice, of course! We just need a better selection! Not sure what I’m referring too? Hint: it’s not made from grapes or cacao.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have another year of life. I’m looking forward to the surprises, journeys, and lessons (not so much, because this means you usually have to mess up to learn them, but I’ll take them. You have to earn your stripes somehow, right?), that will fill up my 34th year of life.In honor of my 34th year I will be sharing with you 34 random things I’ve learned, done, or a fact you probably didn’t know about me. The key word here is R-A-N-D-O-M. The order in which they are listed has no meaning, it’s RANDOM remember?

  1. Life is scary. Both in a good and bad way. At the end of the day is what you make of it.
  2. Learning to let go and let God is easier said than done. But once you get the hang of it, and trust the Universe is not against you but for you, you’re golden my friend.
  3. Some of us have an easier time believing the bad than the good not just in people, but in ourselves too. When someone says something negative, we don’t bother thinking twice about why someone would say something like that. We take it at face value and never look back, we make it our truth. But when someone says something positive: “they must want something, what’s their angle.”  Sad but very true.
  4. Acceptance is hard, but self acceptance is harder. But once you accept yourself, there’s no holding you back. You become a force to be reckoned with.
  5. However, it’s okay to once in a while fall of the wagon and have doubts. The trick is to not wallow in your doubts for long. Address it, brush yourself off, and jump back in.
  6. Body image is a bitch. Yes, I loathe that word but this deserves it. I still have issues with this one. I’ve shared with you all the issues I’veself-reflection had with my weight; although, I’m much smaller than I was maybe 10 years ago I still battle with this one. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I still see the old me. I still catch myself saying “hey does this look good or do I look like a fat girl trying too hard!” harsh, I know. The amazing thing is that when I see me, the real here and now me , it’s as if I’m seeing myself for the first time. I’ve gotten better, but it still creeps up from time to time.
  7. I hate shopping.  It’s just too hard. I have curves, I can’t just say I’m this size, because guess what it might not fit: too big or too small. The same thing with shoe shopping, no curves there just really small and flat feet. When I know I’m going shopping, I have to prepare myself ahead of time: plenty of coffee, a good breakfast, pack snacks and water. You shopaholics out there, nothing but respect for you.
  8. When I was 12, I never thought I would live to be 18. Tragic, I know but for some reason I couldn’t see myself living past that age.
  9. I’m a picky eater and it sometimes embarrasses me. It’s hard enough being a vegetarian trying to be wheat free, but now picky? Yes! There’s certain textures, smells, and food combinations that I can’t handle. I’m getting a bit better on this one, but it requires a lot of patience. Thank you my friends! You guys rock for working with me on this one.
  10. I suck at being a vegetarian. How can one suck at this? Easy, I’m allergic to the one thing you will find on the only vegetarian option at most restaurants: eggplant. Everywhere you go, eggplant parmesan  or vegetarian lasagna with eggplant is the only option they have; unless it comes with a Benadryl chaser, keep it away from me. I can’t even order it and then take it out, because I have the same reaction I would have if I was to bite in to that purple freak of a vegetable.
  11. I love my eyes. They are not colored or anything like that, damn genes! But I like my brows, shape, and long eye lashes. I think they make me stand out.
  12. Let’s not forget my killer smile. Thanks mom! Oh this is all her, everything from my nice teeth to the lips.

    It is now!

    It is now!

  13. I hated smiling. I know what was I thinking? What would the world be without this gorgeous smile of mine? All jokes and cockiness aside, I really did hate it. In most of the pictures taken during my early 20’s  I have a straight face. When I smile my eyes turn into dime slots, I hated this. I felt as if my cheeks covered my entire face and I was just horrendous. Well, the truth was that not smiling made me look like the ringleader of MS13, I swear if you could see my ID you would believe me. My eyes might still turn into dime slots when I smile, but that just means I’m happy. I’m okay with that. CHEESE!
  14. I love laughing, so I do it a lot. Which is why I like to keep people around me that do too. I use to be so embarrassed of my laugh; of course, it was because someone called me out on it. Apparently, having a loud laugh was not very lady-like. Yea, I know what a douche. I didn’t realize then that it was more about them and less about me. Now, I embrace it. It’s full of life, joy, and spirit. Why not let it out?
  15. I don’t know how to whisper, or so I have been told. But from the looks I received in lecture and discussion sessions, I’m going to go ahead and say this is true.
  16. I have a really bad gag reflex with certain smells and sounds. What? I know weird, but I’ll explain, hopefully I won’t gag while I do. The usual smells like gasses, something rotten, waste, etc. get to me. Normal. But what’s weird and at times embarrassing is, that sneeze makes me gag. I’ll explain when someone sneezes they let out this odor from their mouth, that just gets to me. It’s weird, it’s this combo of whatever was in there nose mixed in with their breath that just gets to me. Which is why when some people sneeze around me, I look away and I’m usually holding my breath, so I won’t smell it. I know, it’s so weird my family makes fun of me on this one. But also, the sound of throw up landing makes me gag. I don’t even have to smell it or see it, just hearing it will make me go crazy.
  17. When I write I love to listen to symphonic or classical music. I am actually listening to my Symphonic Radio station on Pandora now. Ravel’s “Bolero” is my all time favorite!
  18. I’m a Christmas Freak! Some of you might have already known this. I actually behaved and felt as a child during this time and on my birthdays. Which is why
  19. I also love birthdays, particularly mine. But I believe everyone should celebrate it and I always try to make my loved ones special.
  20. My childhood only lasted 10 years, which is why Christmas and Birthdays were awesome!
  21. Although, I love Asian culture and have a weird fascination with it, I cannot see myself living in Asia. I do see myself living in London.

    21, I wonder why?

    21, I wonder why?

  22. My life motto is “GO BIG OR GO HOME!” I was told to DREAM BIG and I haven’t stopped since.
  23. I use to be an extreme wallflower. Yea, I know some of you might have spit out whatever liquid you had in your mouth right about now. But I’m serious, I was extremely shy around new people and I didn’t open up right away.
  24. I was an extreme Nerd when I was a kid. I had a 3.0 GPA when I was in third grade. I was in gifted classes in middle school, well, more like 7th grade.  My Summer homework would be done by the second week of vacation, I use to hang out in the library with the Asian kids. I joined the Library Club in elementary school just to have open access to books.
  25. I love playing sports. Particularly basketball and softball. I was a jock while in high school, I played Basketball, Volleyball, and Kickball. Yes, kickball was an official sport in El Salvador. I played softball when I was in elementary, loved playing basketball in middle school. I also played basketball in an all women’s park league in my 20’s. I know I’m short, but I was good. Hoping to get back into it.
  26. I’m extremely competitive. I think this has to do a lot with the sports. I’m also the 4th child out of 5, I had to stand out somehow.
  27. I was considered the black sheep of the family, now I’m just the red sheep. I really do hope you get this one!
  28. Ever since they broke into my car last month, I no longer feel safe. I know this might be lame, talk about first world problems, but it’s true. I know it could have been worse, they didn’t brake my window, steal my car, or hurt me. But it still feels scary. I had a hard time being in my car the few days right after it happened. I didn’t want to drive it, it no longer felt like my car. Someone was in there without my permission, I felt in a way, violated. Again, maybe it’s uncalled for, but I’m being honest. I worry each time I walk out to my car that I might find everything a mess like I found it when they broke in or worse yet find my car missing. Or what if they brake in to my house? Apparently car break-ins and robberies have been happening a lot around my neighborhood, my neighbor was surprised it just now happened to me. I’ve lived in worse areas than this, I’ve never felt this way. I hope it passes soon, my home is my safe haven and it’s not feeling like that lately.
  29. I’m my father’s biggest secret. His wife and some of his kids don’t know I exist.
  30. I’ve learned that BFF’s don’t really exist. Sounds harsh but its true. Some friends will only be around for a period in your life, once they have acted out the role they were suppose to play in your life they move on. This is okay, it doesn’t mean you suck at keeping friends, but people grow and some grow apart. Some of us need to go out and do what we need to do. Sometimes life brings us back together, but sometimes it doesn’t. It doesn’t mean your friendship isn’t valued, you’ve just grown.
  31. If an ex-boyfriend wasn’t a good boyfriend, what makes you think he will be a good friend? He won’t, she won’t. Let it go.
  32. You will never win when it comes to the prodigal son/daughter. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve helped your parents, or how supportive and dependable you are, you cannot compete. As soon as they roll by, your parents will drop everything for them and will always forgive or “forget” all the BS they put them through, all the times they didn’t call, or their absence. You, the dependable son or daughter, will always be the first one the parent calls when they need your help; however, you will also be the first to be ignored when the “prodigal” son/daughter decides to show up.
  33. I wan’t to leave a mark in this world before I die. I want to be remembered as someone that did something of value for humanity. I don’t want to just be another human living on this planet, I want my appearance in this world to mean something!
  34. Life is too short and too beautiful not to live it to your fullest so LIVE IT! Don’t strive to survive, LIVE!

You know the funny thing is that at first I didn’t know if this was such a good idea, but once you start you can’t stop. I hope you enjoy this almost as much as I enjoyed coming up with this list.  You should try it, and maybe you should share it with me.

grandIt does feel good to be back!

Till next time lovelies!